It's late and I'm seemingly wide awake... sleep can be such a stranger sometimes.

I have a million and one things running through my mind right now and I realize I need to simply quiet my thoughts, but it's never that easy. Instead I will continue to sit and think and sit and wonder about life and all that is taking place... and sit some more.

It's in the stillness of these alone times that I find some of my greatest solace. Although it feels like a jagged pill; I know that everything continues to happen with divine reason in my life. I am grateful.

And as the heavy-footed, elephant-sounding fools that live above me stomp around like they do, I will take that as my cue to go on to sleep.

Good Night... the island is resting and I should be too.

Aloha!

Untitled...

 



Wide open...
bent over...
exposed and spread for the coming of you, I am spellbound in this moment.
It is in the because of you that I find a wanting...
a yearning that is unquenchable by all, satisfied only by the insertion of all that is... You!
Offering up this naked vessel...
this place of birthed words and rhyme,
you would be the muse I allow to fuck me into the light of the Sun's eyes...
You send me...
This thing right here...
has reached and exceeded epic proportions before lips have met and thighs have intertwined...
I want you
I want you inside me, around me, above me, beneath me...
You...
I want all that you have offered and more of what you didn't know you even had to bring to fate's table...
If no words are ever spoken, shared, or heard of again, this space, this being...
THIS
Is
Yours...

The wanting of it ALL...

I admit to wanting nothing more than exactly what you yearn to give to/do to/release unto me

For fear of never hearing this,
thing you want, again...
the current undeniable tremble I feel will be what sustains me

I can't even begin to utter what is coming to this mind of mind

the words that are threatening to leap from me and I am desperately trying to capture and put back under lock and key

this...
fuckin thing that you have seemingly ripped from inside of me...
 something I didn't feel coming...
someone I never knew was approaching...

You

Have singlehandedly rocked my core

and I

I

am

breathless

right now

Music... we... you, me, this... would make melodies written in God's speak...
tongues and dialects that ancient scrolls spoke of...

I

am

overwhelmed by your presence

and I want

more...

She...

Silence

No voice

No melody

No substance has been heard in years

Until… you

Erupting from me like volcanic ashes

Just as hot and flesh melting

You

You who spoke bass into this rhythm

We

Marching steps of passion’s borrowed times

I humbly submit to the whims of your beckoning

Already rising and raging within this beat lives the thought and vision of you

Music swarms and surrounds me as memories of your words fill my senses

There is simply no stopping this burn

I’m captivated by you

Enraptured in the energy emitted from you

Caught up in the spectacle that is this… thing

You

You breathtaking, life altering, mind fucking, soul jarring, music rousing…dream

Can I

Can we

Do you

Want

Me

Too?

Temptation makes two...

 

 

You who makes submission easy and free
My aggressive tendency to mount and devour you as prey still exists
Feeling the drip drop of your fancy on taste buds
Fills this mind with an eagerness of an adolescent fool
I crave the head-to-toe molecules that have created and make up... you
Give me your surrender
Accepting nothing less, you will be dubbed my queen of souls
You are my search ended
We are turning the corner of never returns and I
am
frighteningly willing...

Here...

 

 

 

This mind drifts in and out of consciousness
Here within the confines of spirit
Sleep in weightless wonder with me
I
find peace and serenity in the longing
it is all I have
All that is left of you
Here within the holds of love's embrace
You rest gently on the eves of my loosening grasp
Forever beholden to what you bring
Will this go on
I
Miss

Us

This is now - 2.12.13

It's the me you see
See
Before, hidden in shadow and lost dreams
I
hid from what would overtake me
No longer afraid
For your words no longer pierce flesh
This skin
Indelible prints belong only to me
the soul within me
You
Can no longer have
Can no longer attempt to break
We are no more
Only I
Only
Me
Head held
High reaching upward toward skies kissed by God's love
I
am the proverbial Phoenix
and these ashes are choking you to death
Freed yourself of me
Foolishly
and I
I will wisely rise
Rise again
No longer us
Just

Me...

Don't be mad, it's just a Brand New kind of Me...

*Something About You - Anthony David*

An epiphany of sorts... that's probably what I would call today. There's a moment that some of us are fortunate to experience. That place of clarity where the questions you've been asking simply begin to have answers, or at least that things begin to make far more sense than they did a moment before.

For the first time in my adult life, I feel like I am exactly where I am meant to be. Not because I've had an amazing thing happen per se, or that something has taken place that has cured all of the things I would love to fix in my life, but more because I have a sense of peace when I smell the air here. When I walk outside, the warmth, the energy I feel emanating from me feels contagious. It is incurable...it is solace...it is happiness. 

Alicia Keys said it best, "Don't be mad, it's just a brand new time for me..." I am new to the grounds that make up this breathtaking island. No more native than those who claimed to discover an already inhabited land, I am new... I am fresh skin... I am free.

As I walk along the busy morning streets, not often do I see faces that mirror my own, but yet I still feel a sense of belonging that is unmistakeable. On the scene, even less do I recognize those that would be just like myself in make, model, look, and/or fashion but again, I sense hope. Confident that there are other lesbians of color just like me... working away somewhere in an office here on this island, I rest in the knowing that I will encounter them. We will meet... and we will relate with one another. But for now, I'm content to simply be...

Admittedly, I've had my moments of loneliness in the new world, but today, today I felt my confidence return. I stood in my own skin and truth and breathed in all that surrounded me. I am here now... I am home!